Thursday, April 1, 2010

I Have To Stop Blogging

Life is so different now from what it used to be 2 years ago. Back then all I ever needed to do was studying, complete my assignments, busy with my laboratory research and well…blogging of course. Back then, it was more relaxing and I didn’t have to worry about anything at all. But everything has changed once I received my graduation scroll and stepped into the real world-work force. It officially meant that I am a grown up. And to all you students who yearn to quit school and work, think again. For me, schooling years are the best.

We have to make decisions in our life.

My life takes a completely different direction now. I need a new "compass" to navigate my way through a whole new world. My “map” has become bigger now. Responsibilities come in tandem too. Day after day, I can feel that my shoulders are getting heavier. But I reckon it is good because it makes me have a strong sense of belonging and attachment.

Last year, I decided to wed the woman of my life and settled down. Hence I have more duties and responsibilities. Indeed it was a pivotal point of my life. Life is getting more and more hectic and at times I do feel breathless. Nonetheless I feel blessed with what God has showered me. If not for He, who is above the ceiling I am nothing now. So I gotta thank Him for his help.

I was rather surprised with what was in store for me this year. Earlier this year, I received an unexpected promotion which really dumbstruck me. There’s a hike in salary which also translates to more responsibilities and the inevitable workload. Now both my legs are being shackled and this can only mean one thing-less time for me. Juggling between work and house chores is not easy at all. So I have to multitask a lot of things daily to squeeze some time to write a blog post. Trying to do too many things in such a limited time has really taken its toll on my life.

This is evident when my wife and I had a heart-to-heart talk with me last night. I could see in her eyes that it took a lot from her to divulge what was hidden in the deepest recesses of her soul. Emotions trickled down her face before she could even say anything. After she regained her composure she softly said, “Hubby, can you stop blogging and spend more time with me?” I wanted to explain to her but those warm tears in her eyes jolted me. Dumbfounded, I could only utter, "I am sorry.” Later I was completely speechless. Mute. I couldn’t sleep the whole night.

I did a little soul searching and I realized that I have been neglecting my family despite my best effort to make a balance. I felt like I am a huge let down. I wanted to continue blogging as it is my passion but nothing is more important than my own family. I have to make a choice now. What should I do then? I have a full time job which put the food on the table; I need to do a lot of house chores too because mommy is not around anymore. I am a son and a husband. My family needs me. Can blogging still fit into my life now? My hands are full and my mind is empty now. Perhaps it is time to throw in my towel?