The Ghost Who Counts [True Story]

I was struggling, thinking about the correct relative pronoun to be used in the title. Is it "The Ghost Who Counts" or "The...

I was struggling, thinking about the correct relative pronoun to be used in the title. Is it "The Ghost Who Counts" or "The Ghost Which Counts"? We usually use "who" to represent human. However...ghost is not human anymore right? Then again I decided to use "who" because I want to give some due respect to this ghost which I am going to talk about. Today is the 14th of 7th Lunar Month which is the Ghost Month, so I am going to tell you a story about a ghost who counts...

Guess who she is looking at?

This is a true story which took place in a dormitory of a school in Malacca. The weather had been unbelievably hot for those few weeks. Sleeping in a small room together with 6 other students can be really stuffy and suffocating, don't you agree? So one day, these 7 boys decided to take their mattresses off their bed frame and put them on the floor, in the middle of the room. They arranged their mattresses in a line and they really enjoyed it because it was cooler to sleep on the floor. The 7 of them snuggled happily that night.

It seemed like a brilliant idea for all the 7 students to sleep on the floor until...one of them had to wake up to answer the nature call. He slowly opened his eyes and he was about to get up when he caught something at the corner of his eyes. Suspecting something was amiss, he pretended to fall asleep again. Slowly and of course carefully...he peeked at that something. He saw someone was sitting on the cupboard, shaking his legs. Certainly it was not one of his friends.

Who would be sitting on a cupboard, at the middle of the night right? Then he looked really, really hard to figure out who was sitting on the cupboard...hoping it would be one of the girls who strayed into their room. She had long, silky hair and long, grisly-looking nails. The boy was of course dumbstruck with the sight in front of him...suddenly the head of that girl turned and her blood-shot eyes glared directly at this boy. He immediately pulled his blanket and hid under it.

The boy was totally shaken. He was trembling underneath his blanket, praying that the ghost would go away without disturbing him. For a moment...it seemed like she had been gone for good. There was total silent in the room. Out of the sudden...the female ghost pierced the quiet night with her shrieking laugh and then she spoke. This ghost was a Malay ghost because she spoke in Malay language. She was a pontianak?

The boy was palpitating with terror the moment she spoke; He was totally terrified after he had heard what she said. So do you wanna know what she said? This is what she SAID in Malay Language (and the English translation of course):

• Satu...dua...tiga...empat...lima...enam...tujuh budak baring atas lantai. One...two...three...four...five...six...seven...boys...lying on the floor.
• Satu tidur. The first boy...he is sleeping...
• Dua tidur. The second boy...he is sleeping...
• Tiga tidur. The third boy...he is sleeping...
• Empat tidur. The fourth boy...he is sleeping...
• Lima...PURA-PURA TIDUR...the FIFTH boy...he is PRETENDING TO BE ASLEEP...
• HAHAHAHAHAHA *shrieking laughs*

The boy was so darn scared when the ghost mentioned that the fifth boy was pretending to be asleep, because he was the fifth boy. I believe he almost got a cardiac arrest upon realizing that the pontianak knew that he pretended to sleep. Meaning that the female ghost knew that he saw her. OMG! What would you do if you were that boy? I think I would have fainted. Then...the boy of course couldn't sleep anymore. He was totally traumatized that he had to be transferred out of that dorm.

P.S.: Will you pull down your blanket to check if the ghost is still sitting on the cupboard?