Thursday, August 14, 2008

To Where You Are...Mum...

My heart was really heavy when I left my mum the other day! I hugged and kissed her before I left. It was 6 in the morning. An hour had ticked, I was hundreds of miles away from mummy and my heart still felt something amiss. Coupled with the unusual cough that I had, my heart was further throttled. I was so worried about my beloved mum. I rang her at 7.30 a.m. informing my brother that I had safely reached UKM. During our conversation I could hear my mom's voice which instantly wiped away my anxious (momentarily).

That very day I would be going up to stage to receive my so-called 3 years of labour pains-scroll. Donning my faculty's purple robe, I climbed up the steps and walked towards the pro-chancellor to receive my scroll. Strangely, I was not happy nor I was excited when I was on the stage with thousands of eye balls glaring at me. Not that I have stage-fright! No, it was not that kind of sensation! I felt rather down although I was up on stage...

Later on, each of us had to be seated again while waiting others to collect their scrolls. Out of the sudden, my brother called me. His rang felt like a bullet that went through my heart. What he broke to me had really made my lifeless...every thing felt so gray. As if I was tore apart from the reality...I could felt my heart ripped away from my body...the emotional pain is so excruciating that I could barely took it.

Mum had left me. MUM HAD LEFT ME!!! In fact she was away 15 minutes after I called her (7.45 a.m.). What? WHATTT? I simply could not "swallow" what my I heard. My heart anguished and I never ever felt so helpless in my life. I was so USELESS. Brother and dad held the sad news just to make sure that I was up there on stage to receive my scroll.

24 hours earlier I had this feeling that I should not attend my convocation (10th August 2008). But mommy dearest had bought me 2 formal long-sleeves shirts and a red-striking tie just for my convocation! Could it be her last wish to see me donning my robe and collect my scroll??? My soul is full of regrets and guilt, but I knew mum would only be happy if I wore the formal clothes and tie that she bought for me. How torn!

It's almost 12 noon and the convocation is still on. I was so sad that nothing else matter except leaving the DECTAR (hall) and stormed right back into Malacca to see my mum. I grabbed my wife and headed straight towards the exit. At this moment the security guards forbid me from leaving BUT I was not going to give in. I was not going to accept NO for an answer. Not at that time.

Out I was, from UKM. But it would take me at least another 3 tedious hours to commute back to my mum (bus+ktm+bus+taxi). I was so disturbed, sad and anxious that I could no longer keep it to myself. My faithful wife was with me all the time, making sure that I did not erupt out of control! Out of the blue, my ex-coursemate, Yew Chung, rang and said: "Chris, I can fetch you back!" And up I hopped into his Waja and rattled our way to my hometown!

An hour had passed, finally I was back. Back to where I belong. To my mum. But...she's not there anymore. My tears streamed down my face. My emotion burst! Mum...had leave me...dumbstruck...I could do nothing more than breaking down. Fragments of memories between me and my mum flashed right in front of me. At that exact moment...all I wanted was...I wanted to accompany where you are...mum...

Josh Groban's To Where You Are...

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Tekkaus is the founder and editor of Tekkaus and World Lense. I am a lifestyle blogger who write just about anything, emphasizing on blogging tips, social media, gadgets, music, my family and more. Learn more about me here. Subscribe to my feed and my facebook page. Do connect with me on Twitter


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